It was one year ago that I experienced an internal meltdown. I finally consulted with an orthopedic specialist and surgeon about the (now increasing) PAIN in my knees.
As the physician’s assistant hung my X-rays in front of me, I knew before he spoke a word that this conversation was going to exceed the throbbing pain in my knees.
“Your knees are shot ~~ there’s nothing left. The doctor will be in shortly to discuss your situation and options.”
Meltdown in progress.
“You’re a candidate for a bilateral total knee replacement.”
Did someone just suck out all the oxygen in the room?! It’s getting warm in here.
“Bilateral. Doc, that means BOTH ~~ at the SAME TIME?!”
“Everything you’ve been doing ~~ for the past 20 years ~~ has made you the perfect candidate to be successful with this procedure.”
My heart started on a rhythm that was unknown to me. My hands gripping the examination table were surely leaving fingerprints in the vinyl. And with that my thoughts began to swirl in my head.
Every conceivable thought about HOW I was going to get through this ~~ WHO was going to have to help me ~~ WHEN I would be ‘normal’ again ~~ WHAT the outcome would mean to my future ~~ all of this, I knew DEEP within the quiet place of my soul, God had written a Testimony, and it was now time to experience the Journey.
Born with a birth defect, I defied all odds with the rigorous physical activities I had participated in from childhood up until the present moment. All things considered, I have had it quite good all my life, as far as my existing deformity.
Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Nine months post op ~~ five months post physical therapy (at 3-two hour sessions per week) ~~ titanium and hardware at 2.5lbs each ~~ I am here to declare, “God is indeed FAITHFUL to fulfill His Promises!”
Psalm 18:6 But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.
And let me tell you, Girlfriend, I cried out loud.
I’m still in the recovery stages ~~ they say the average patient rehabs over the course of one year. But I have returned to work teaching just fewer fitness classes.
In my downtime, God whispered to me through His Word. He drew me in CLOSER to Him. I learned how to FULLY depend upon Him for everything. Mind you, I required the assistance of someone to lower my legs to the floor every time I wanted out of the bed. Throughout my days, I called out to Him through my pain ~~ and He comforted me by giving me HOPE for things that I was going to participate in with Him for His Kingdom. I truly learned how to LEAN IN and LEAN ON my Savior.
All my ‘vertically challenged life’ I lived very independently ~~ oftentimes to a fault. The scars from mishaps are proof of my determination to do things single-handedly. This was now a life lesson in DEPENDENCY on God for my every need.
I don’t take life for granted ~~ I treasure the “pleasure” in walking without a cane or walker. Taking the stairs is NOT pleasant, although I know it is par for the recovery course. But I am a walking miracle. In fact, I walked only 5 hours after my surgeries!
I have MUCH to be thankful for ~~ the LOVE and generosity of my Girlfriends to provide meals and companionship and transportation ~~ the selfless devotion of my sons while mama was incapacitated ~~ the major and minor adjustments my husband made in life as I progress with each passing month.
God indeed “straightened me out.” He literally recreated my knees through the skillful hands of my surgeons. He showered me with LOVE that I had not experienced before. And He INCREASED my FAITH by giving me a HOPE for the future. Above all, He taught me that dependency (upon Him) is exactly where He wants me.
I encourage you to lean fully upon the One Who loves you beyond your imagination ~~ and you will discover that you will learn to live fully.