Love and Respect.
Funny, you wouldn’t think people would get these two verbs wrong. And yet, in recent days I’ve been front row center to some very ‘difficult’ situations.
Whenever I witness a husband and wife ‘disagreeing,’ I understand that; it simply means you have two different opinions that have met on a collision course in a public place. Not all disagreements are bad. One partner wants midnight blue paint and the other wants creamy lemon yellow. One spouse wants to watch a Marvel Comics Superhero movie and the other wants to see a romantic chick flick. I get it. Matter of difference in taste and preferences.
But what I’m talking about goes deeper.
I’ve actually witnessed a wife disrespect her husband in public ~~ and it hurts to see it in the making.
Whenever God allows me to see something unusual more than once and one occurrence right after the other, I always stop and ask, why has this been highlighted in front of my eyes.
It’s to show me what disrespect looks like. Plain and simple. And Girlfriend, it’s not pretty.
In each instance, I saw the pain and embarrassment on the face of the husband. I could read the humiliation in his eyes and the cowering in his body language. And it was extremely painful to watch.
I kept silent and almost motionless ~~ in an effort to try to remain ‘invisible’ to the husband ~~ hoping he would forget a stranger’s eyes were seeing him being torn apart. When the dust settled, and I felt comfortable to exhale, I excused myself and prayed for the husband as I walked away.
The goal is to build up, not tear down.
Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
The Scriptures remind us, wives, to respect our husbands. And from being married for over 31 years, I can tell you that showing a man respect so that he recognizes it as respect is different from showing him love and affection the way a woman would perceive and receive it.
It. Is. Not. Easy.
What we think we are conveying through our actions, is not always how he receives and perceives it. Men are wired differently ~~ on purpose ~~ for God’s Purpose.
Likewise, what he thinks he is saying may not be what we are hearing.
I have found that when I am frustrated with this, I have to pause, pray, and stay ~~ right where I am, and ask God to melt my heart for understanding and correction. And then it usually helps if I actually ask my husband what he wants me to understand or know about some thing.
And this is not easy either.
It means grab a tall glass of Holy Spirit water and swallow the pride pill ~~ wash it all down, Girlfriend. And do whatever you can to hold back the urge to roll the eyes or fold the arms across the chest.
Pride will distract us from seeing the truth ~~ which means it will ultimately destroy us. Don’t allow for it to destroy your marriage.
Pray for the willingness to be moved by the Holy Spirit when a difficult moment arises. It is in these tender hearted moments that we can truly show how much we genuinely love and respect our men. Let’s not forget: he has been imaged by God, and he did come first in the order of Creation.
Remember, he’s protecting you as though you are his own heart. Work with him. And you just may find that it’s a tad bit easier to understand him. Then you’ll be better able to show him you respect him in love.
It takes practice, Girlfriend; a lot of practice. But God will honor you showing up for practice. (Wink!)
Pray diligently for your marriage ~~ protect it ~~ guard it ~~ treasure it. There is no other Relationship like it.
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~
Now, go give that man a Hug!