Living these last few days of this year, I can’t help but breathe a sigh of “relief” that I made it so well through this one. This time last year was an entirely different story for me. My heart had found a new “rhythm” and my anxiety level was making a silent but gradual increase. In less than two weeks my life was about to change forever.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
The Scripture verse above had become my spiritual mantra ~~ after making the conscious decision to “come clean” and follow through on some health issues that were plaguing my body during the recent years. My prayer life had led me to seek the Lord about the persistent aches and pains that were now intensifying. And this is where it led me ~~ into full trust and obedience to walk a Journey that I never would have imagined.
This exact time last year I was busy emotionally preparing myself for the “unknown.” I had done some research, but my advising nurse at the doctor’s office had warned me not to read certain material from those who had posted chats regarding their personal experiences ~~ mostly negative ~~ so that I wouldn’t go into this “adventure” with the wrong preconceived notions filled with fear and worry. I’m so glad I adhered to her wisdom!
Reflections of those days that slowly led up to my surgeries ~~ completely unaware of the arduous Journey that I was about to “step into,” brings me to me knees in total humility and in worshipful praise of the magnitude and breadth of the love of God.
Reflections of how I thought things would be ~~ my recovery ~~ post surgical ~~ and how vastly different they actually unfolded.
Reflections of the utterly great grace of God as demonstrated through the selfless acts of kindness and generosity of so many people continues to linger in my heart and mind even to this day ~~ I am eternally indebted.
Reflections of the concerns I had for my future ~~ wondering if I would still be “useful” in the sense that I had known for so long.
James 1:5-8 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.
God continued to comfort my soul with Scripture and lessons that I was privileged to hear from my own pastor and others. I was prompted to read books penned by Christ-following authors that brought me great assurance when letting go of what I know in order to take the Hand of the One Who loves me unconditionally.
As the passage from the Book of James tells us to ask for the faith to believe and then to believe with full confidence ~~ I was constantly reminded to remain the course of my new Journey with full loyalty to the One Whom I trusted.
Reflections on how God brought me through my misery of excruciating pain and agony in those earlier days immediately following surgeries; and always consoled my spirit with reminders of His Love ~~ Girlfriends~in~Christ ever-present, even if only by text. Some attending to my bedside when I could hardly raise my head to say “thank you.”
Reflections of how my own two sons were so attentive to my every need ~~ even in the middle of the night, willing to answer my call for assistance if even to move only four feet away to the bedside commode. These young men of mine shall make for wonderful husbands (thank you, Jesus).
Reflections of the tireless efforts of my husband in assuring my physical comfort and worrying whenever he had to leave me alone. This wonderful man of mine acquired every piece of medical equipment that I would need to secure my comfort and safety at home during rcovery. God gave him the wisdom to know through his profession.
Reflections of the varying stages of development throughout recovery and even the disappointments in not succeeding at the expected times ~~ and yet God gave me hope and courage and His Strength to carry on with His confidence.
When I made the decision to fully trust my great God with all that was in front of me, He assured me through His Word and His Circumstances and His People that all would be well. And I live today to tell you this ~~ it is well with my soul.
Reflections ~~ what will I look back upon this time next year? My Sweet Sister, what will YOU look back upon this time next year?
Let’s make the intentional and willful decision to see Jesus in our reflections next year.
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~